7:45 AM, Tuesday morning before school, 8th grade:
There I was, warming up at Camp Randall Stadium. As the starting running back for the Wisconsin Badgers, I had high expectations to win the Heisman Trophy and make it to the NFL. Our team was great, we won the Rose Bowl in 2011 and we plan to win the National Championship this year. This week is a huge week for me because I am going to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated and ESPN magazine. I’m a little nervous because Michigan is a great team. I doubt they can stop me. I haven’t felt this way since my 8th grade football game against Evanston. “Ring! Ring! Ring!” my alarm clock screamed at me. I hopped in the shower, ate breakfast and went off to school.
Typical day at Camp Horseshoe:
-Wake up at around 815.
-Eat in the mess hall for breakfast.
-Cabin clean-up for fifteen minutes.
-Leagues- Teams by age group play other teams.
-Leagues again.
-Open areas for thirty minutes. Do whatever you want around camp. (Skiing, Tubing, Climbing, riflery, sailing, trampball)
-Lunch in mess hall.
-Rest hour. (Sleep, play cards, hang out).
-Leagues again.
-Open areas for 30 minutes.
-Dinner in mess hall.
-Evening Program.
-Sleep.
Typical day at a New Trier football practice:
I really like the beginning part its really descriptive and pulls the reader in! And the list is very creative. I like what you have so far but i'm a little confused if you are tacking this on to your old draft...or if you are creating an entirely new start! but either way i think its a good star to your paper, maybe after the first list go into a specific memory of a good day at the camp or something-- i'm not sure what you question is though so i dont know if thatll fit...but anyways good job!
ReplyDeletedid you start over or is this an addition to your draft? I really like the list, it gives us a great overview of camp, but try to describe a great game you had or friend you made during camp, a specific instance. that would make it more descriptive and showing. the list is creative though. I like how you start off with a dream, i think thats a great idea. Good start to your paper! just let me know if this was a fresh start or an addition.
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